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If I Don't Write You Letters by Jen Selinsky

If I don't write you letters of competence,
If I fail to argue for my case, my motivation
May be erased, and I shall have to
Find a new reason to exist
Judging by what was said,
If you do not like the exchange,
I am expelled into impending doom
If I cannot write, my soul would bleed,
But mental evisceration is the harshest of critics
And all the while, sweat seeps through my pores,
And I weep blood from my eyes because
All life is being drained as vultures fly overhead,
Not wanting a piece of me as if they know
That I am not one who possesses such a gift
For arranging words into meaning
If nothing comes from my pen but ink
And incoherent scribbles, I am awarded
No stellar rewards, and all my
Precious children will be forced out into
The cold with no mental fruits on which to feast
And damnation has me stripped to the gills
While I am forced to go unacknowledged
During the time when my brothers and sisters
Are well-clothed and fed, forgetting completely
Who I am
They have names that light a flame or mark a grave,
As compared to mine, which answers to the demands
Of people and children with whom I do not want a connection
Laughing in my face or telling me that I am to spend
The remainder of my years hiding from the glory,
When I prefer mainly to hide from them
If I don't write what I should, am I not special;
Should I go back in time and eradicate all my
Creative efforts and pretend that I do not exist
To fulfill my dreams?
Do not let this letter go unanswered, please correspond
ASAP to match the fast pace of this world
If I write, and the world does not wish to read,
Should I concede defeat and wipe away the blood
That falls from my eyes, forcing me to keep my disguise,
Which does not suit me and makes me feel as if no hope
Lies ahead for a chance to climb the rungs?
My children will not make me immortal, and my name
Will be buried with my body
If I do not write on your level, if these gargantuan words fail
Please, turn out the light right now and let me be,
Where I can fade into mediocrity to be withered
And forgotten, just as the paper on which I write
But, oh, if one word strikes a heart or mind,
Please leave my luminous bulb burning bright!

Bio: Jen Selinsky has been writing ever since the age of fifteen.  Jen was born and raised in Cranberry Township, PA.   In June of 1997, she graduated from Seneca Valley Senior High School.  In May of 2003, Jen received a B.A. in English from Clarion University of Pennsylvania.  In December of the following year, she earned her   MLS in Library Science from the same university.  Her two books of poetry available through Amazon include "Opening the Doors" and "A View of Dreams."     Jen also was recently accepted into a new program from Amazon, called Amazon Shorts, which publishes short prose works by established and aspiring writers.   Her first short story available through the Amazon Shorts program, "Picture Perfect," is now available under her name.  Thirty-five of her other books are also for sale online at   www.lulu.com , two of which are works of prose.  In June of 2006, Jen had one of her poems, "Tholomyes," published in the online magazine,   ThePoetryReview.com .  Throughout her life, Jen has written in various genres, but she is best known for her collection of over 8,000 poems.  She works as a Collection Development librarian in the state of Indiana.